JEWS NEWS FLASH : ISLAND TIME!

Hi Jewsbrosfans,

It's Island Time again!! Yes, The Jews Brothers Band at the Waiheke Island Jazz Festival! Our concert last year was a blast as only a Waiheke Island gig can be when the Islanders come out and party. It was sold out last year so be in early to secure a ticket!!.

The Dunes is a beautiful and spacious bar and bistro right on the beach. And if you can't resist those get-up-'n'-boogie JBB rhythms there's room for dancing as well. It's a guaranteed good time and you get three hours of music already. Vot could be bad??

WHAT : THE JBB at Waiheke International Jazz Festival. Evening Concert Series
WHERE : The Dunes, Onetangi, Waiheke Island
WHEN : Friday April 6 7pm - 10pm
HOW : By ferry to the island. Once you're there you can jump on the Jazzabout Bus which does a continual loop around all the jazz venues

For more information and to make a booking GO TO Waiheke International Jazz Festival -

Some shows are selling fast, so best to secure your tickets now see programme on our website for details. Waiheke residents can buy tickets at Waiheke iSite, Oneroa ph 3721234. 76 musicians, 4 all-weather venues, great wine and food.

And a quickie:

THE JEWISH MISTRESS

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I
want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

Allright already, here's another one:

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York . He tells the sales lady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34B."

With a quizzical look the sales lady asked, "What kind of bra?"
He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted."

"Ah, now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra."

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked "So, what are the differences?"

The sales lady responded. "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses, the Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright."

He mused on that information for a minute and said: "Hmm. I know I'll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?"
"Ah, the Jewish bra," she replied "Makes Mountains out of Molehills".